Why did you have to leave?
by Casie01
Summary: LIfe is never fair. Life never turns out the way we expect it to. Jennifer Jareau learns life's harsh lessons at an early age when her sister takes her own life. The story of the moments leading up the event that would shape Jennifer's Life and how a family finds a way to heal.
1. Prologue

_Darkness blanketed the small western Pennsylvania town. The faint glow of morning slowly rose to the east, while the people of this town enjoyed the last few moments of blissful slumber. The flashing red light, the town's only traffic light, glowed almost ominously as its eerie red glow shone across Main Street, its only job to slow down intruders to their small town, as they made their way to the big city._

_A lone vehicle made its way slowly up and down the streets of downtown. The two rookie cops patrolled the town they loved, making sure no one disrupted the quiet life they carved for themselves. Like so many officers before them, these young men had grown up here. They had been stars of the football team, married their high school sweethearts, and started their own families here; not wanting to live anywhere but here._

_The patrol car crept slowly up and down the streets of their town, then men inside, quiet heroes of the night, ready to lay down their lives to protect their town, their family. In East Alleghany, a town of a mere fifteen hundred, everyone knew everyone. The old saying "It takes a Village," couldn't be more true than along these country roads. Everyone here was family, blood or otherwise._

_Crime was something foreign to this town, Rape, Murder, Suicide, unforgiveable acts knew no place within the tight walls of this community. Crimes of such heinous nature plagued cities like Pittsburgh or Philadelphia. Petty theft, drunk and disorderly, teenagers joy riding, the occasional domestic disturbance; that was the evil this town felt, and like many small towns they dealt with those problems the old fashion way. _

_Evil hadn't found its way to their town, they took care of their own, but on this quite fall night everything would change. On this quite night they enjoyed their last few moments of sweet innocence, soon their tight knit community would be rocked to the core, pain would be left in the wake of a tragedy no one saw coming._

_The black and white patrol car continued on its last sweep through town, the occupants unaware that their night was far from over. As they passed by dark home after dark home they discussed their families, the newest trick their babies had learned, the way their wives nagged them to be more productive on their days off. As they moved across they noted how slowly homes were lighting up, the few men that worked outside of their town preparing for the long commute to the city. Traveling down Jefferson Road they had no clue of the horrors awaiting the family in the old two story house settled near the end of the road._

_The family at 1860 Jefferson Road, was the typical American family. Here in East Allegany everyone knew them, this family had been a part of the makeup of this town as long as anyone could remember. Their descendants had helped form the first town council back in 1780. While their roots could be traced back to the first settlers in East Alleghany, they were no different than anyone else here. After tonight there would be a black cloud over this house, over this family, that would never truly go away, sure slowly people would move on, slowly life would go back to normal._

_The family home was more than enough for the mother and father that was raising three children within its walls. They weren't rich but they had enough, what they lacked in possessions they had made up for in love. With each breaking morning the children were told they were loved, that they mattered, that they could be anything in life that they wanted to be. Nights were filled with laughter around the dinner table. It seemed to be the idyllic way to be raised; two parents who loved you, siblings that while you fought with you knew always had your back; a community of family to raise you._

_The two story house showed its age well, it was well lived in. A girls bicycle was dropped on the front lawn, with no concern that it could be gone in the morning. Rose bushes perfectly manicured in the front lawn. Mismatched furniture inside, hand me downs from generations past. The only luxury item was the new television they had bought last year. _

_Tonight the foundation of this home would be ripped apart, scars both visible and otherwise would be slow to heal for years to come. On the second floor the only light was the soft glow under the bathroom the girls shared. They had remodeled the bathroom just a few years after their youngest child was born. The soft white tile now covered in a pool of blood, blood that would never fully coming up, the tile would always hold a soft pink glow, until they had finally ripped up the tile, trying to erase the memory of this night. _

_The deep bathtub had been home to many bath time rituals over the years. Rubber ducky's once swam across the way pushed by the imagination of an inquisitive brunette four year old. Barbie's had beach parties with the unexpected blonde child they added six years after they insisted they had their last child. _

_The bath tub that had once been an escape from the world, the protector of a sick child with a fever that wouldn't go down, and the provider of an overdue shower, now held the young girl as she slowly slipped away from the safety of her home and her family. The cold hard tub was trying to protect the girl one last time as she slowly took her last breaths._

_A scream of horror echoed across the bathroom walls, echoing of the forever stained tile. The walls of their home absorbed the screams, the sobs, the pleading of the voice that first witnessed the evil that had found its way into their innocent world. The blood curling scream echoed not just through their home, through the dark forest behind them, and through the streets of their town. The wails of a mother matched the wails of the police cruiser as it sped to try and save a life. The echoes of that first scream, of the hopeless pleading, would be heard and felt all over their small town._

**Blessed be the night, which conceals and protects things fair and foul with the same indifferent mantle. Jose Saramago**


	2. Breakfast

**AN: This story contains spoilers from ****_Risky Business, All that Remains, Route 66, and In the Blood. _****As always I do not own Criminal Minds or the characters.**

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_"Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there." Amy Li_

**November 1989**

"MOM! Where are my soccer cleats?" Eleven year old Jennifer Jareau called down stairs to her mother.

Sandy Jareau placed a plate of eggs in front of her eldest daughter before answering her youngest. The visible roll of seventeen year old Rosaline's eyes didn't escape the mother of three, she only shook her head and answered her daughter, "They're supposed to be in your gym bag with your uniform!"

"I know! I took them out to clean them, now I can't find them!" Jennifer called back as she looked under her bed for the tenth time that morning. She promised herself once again this would be the last time she let her room get so cluttered. Her parents were always on her to clean her room, but usually she knew where everything was in all the mess.

"JENNIFER ANN JAREAU! You had better not be cleaning out those muddy shoes in that bedroom!" Images of Jennifer's room clouded Sandy's mind. Clothes strewn all over the floor, books piled up, and finding weeks old mud stains on the Sunday dress's the little girl hated to wear.

Suddenly the sounds off the eleven year old girl's feet bellowed through the house as she ran down the hall and clobbered down the stairs. Sandy and Rosaline watched as a blur of blonde and pink ran past them and out the back door.

"What am I ever going to do with your sister Rosaline?" Sandy asked as she put another plate on the table for Jennifer and sat next to her older daughter.

"I don't know, I wasn't like that at her age, was I?" Rosaline asked, picking up her fork and stabbing at the eggs in front of her.

Sandy laughed, "No, I don't think there's a child in this world quite like your sister." Sandy noticed her older daughter wasn't eating breakfast, just picking at the eggs, moving them around the plate.

"Rosaline, honey are you feeling ok?" Sandy put her hand on the teenager's forehead checking for a temperature.

"MOM! I'm fine!" Rosaline shook her head away from her mother's hand in horror, looking around the room just to make sure one of her friends hadn't shown up unexpected. Noticing the sadness in her Mother's eyes, "I'm just tired Mom, I promise nothing's wrong."

"She was up late last night talking to her _boyfriend_!" Jennifer walked back into the kitchen as the back door slammed closed. She put her cleats on the stairs before sitting at the table next to her big sister. As she sat down she started making kissing sounds at her sister.

"Shut up Jennifer! I wasn't talking to my boyfriend. You're such a brat!" Rosaline chastised her sister, annoyed once again at the tag along sibling she didn't want.

"I'm not a brat! And don't call me Jennifer!" Rosaline knew how much her baby sister hated to be called Jennifer. Their father had called the little blonde girl JJ as long as anyone could remember, and other than their mother that's all anyone else was allowed to call her.

From the moment the little girl was born she was the opposite of everything their mother had wanted her to be. Sandy had hoped for a girl who like Rosaline wanted to be held, liked to play dress up, but unlike Rosaline wasn't so shy and introverted. She had hoped this girl would join pageants and play the piano.

The only thing Sandy had been granted was that Jennifer was anything but shy. Jennifer, or has her father called her from an early age, JJ was rambunctious. The little girl was content with throwing her hair in a ponytail and running around the neighborhood chasing the older kids. Sandy and Michael had wondered more than once if she had been born with a soccer ball attached to her foot, from the moment she first stepped on her brothers soccer field when she was three, they knew she had a gift. The only way that Sandy got the little girl to touch a piano was because Rosaline played, and even though the two sisters couldn't be more different JJ always wanted to be like her big sister. It was in those moments when the two sat on the piano bench playing together that you knew despite her frustration with her overly excitable sister, Rosaline loved her baby sister and would do anything for her.

"Rosaline! We don't talk like that in this family. And Jennifer don't tease your sister, now eat your breakfast or you're going to be late." Sandy expertly diffused the fight.

"How are things with Jason?" the girl's mother asked, tired of the self-imposed silence the two siblings had created around the table.

"We broke up." Rosaline answered simply not adding any additional details she knew her mother would want.

Sandy knew there was something more there but didn't want to push her daughter too hard, "Why honey?"

"I don't know, just did." Rosaline shrugged.

"That's not what you put in your diary. You said he was mad you wouldn't put out!" JJ answered without realizing she was about to get herself in trouble. She had been in trouble more times than she could remember for sneaking into her sisters room, she couldn't help it though, in her eleven year old mind Rosaline was the coolest person on earth.

"JENNIFER!" Sandy exclaimed at the same time as Rosaline gave her sister a look that could kill, "You've been reading my diary again! I told you to stay out of my room! God you're such a little bitch!"

"Enough!" A male voice interrupted from the stairway. Michael Jareau had heard his family's conversation as he came down the stairs.

"You always side with her!" Rosaline was pissed as she looked from her father down to her little sister.

"Rosaline I said enough!" Michael said again. "Jennifer!" He looked down at the small blonde girl first, "You've been told before to stay out of your sister's room. When you get home from your game tonight you're grounded, no TV, no phone, and no going over to your friend's house. Do you understand young lady?"

JJ nodded her head, she knew when her Dad called her Jennifer it was better to just go along with whatever he said. "Good, now go upstairs and get you school books together. I'll drop you off on the way to work, and we'll talk some more." He gave her a stern look as she got up from the table.

Once JJ was on her way upstairs Michael and Sandy turned their attention to their daughter who was obviously hurting more than they could tell, and from the look in her eyes, had been for quite some time.

"Rosaline," Michael started.

"I know Dad! I'm not supposed to swear, and I'm supposed to be nice to my sister, she's the only one I've got. Family doesn't hurt each other, and I have to remember she's six years younger and just wants to be like her big sister." Rosaline ticked off all the words of wisdom her parents had shared with her over the years.

Michael looked over at his wife with a soft smile, "While yes all those things are true, I'm more concerned with you and how your feeling."

"I'm fine Dad. I broke up with Jason, now you know why, thanks to big mouth up there. Really Dad everything is ok." Rosaline tried to get her Dad to stop worrying about her.

"Ok, honey. I know you don't want to talk about these things with your old man, but your Mom and I are always here for you. And I know your sister can be, well to put it in your terms, a pain in the ass, but she looks up to you, she just wants to be like her big sister." Michael kissed the top of his daughters light brown hair, "I love you kiddo."

"Me to Dad." Rosaline answered quietly, staring back down at her breakfast, taking a bite just to appease her parents.

Michael turned towards the stairs, "Let's go JJ!" He turned back to Rosaline, "The next time you swear at anyone in this family you'll be grounded, this time we'll call it a warning." He winked at his daughter as he waited for his younger child.

JJ, who had been sitting on the stop stair walked quickly down the stairs. Before leaving with her Dad she ran over to Rosaline, "I'm sorry I read your diary Roz, and I'm sorry you and Jason broke up." She hugged her sister before walking out with her Dad.

"Daddy?" JJ looked up at her Dad as he opened the front door for her, "What does it mean to put out?"

Michael coughed not ready for this conversation with his baby girl, "Hey, JJ why don't you tell me about your game today." Michael listened as his little girl quickly switched her focus.

Sandy heard her daughter's question, and could only imagine the look on Michaels face right now, "She's a handful."

Rosaline gave her Mom a small smile, "I guess I better go get ready for school."

"Hold on just a second." Sand put a soft hand on top of her daughters hands, "Listen I know you don't want to talk to your parents about sex but like your Dad said we're here for you sweetie, you can talk to me about anything.

Not getting much of a response Sandy continued, "I'm very proud of you though for knowing yourself and what you're ready for. Don't let anyone tell you different." Sandy wanted to say more but wanted to give her daughter a chance to open up on her own.

"I know Mom." Rosaline sighed heavily before going up stairs to get her school books.

Ten minutes later Rosaline walked back down stairs, "Bye Mom!"

"Rosaline hold up just a second!" Sandy put the phone down, "Your brother called, he wants to know if you can babysit on Friday night."

"Um…I don't know…I'll let you know tomorrow." Rosaline answered.

Sandy looked confused Rosaline usually had her nights planned out days in advance, it wasn't like her to not have an answer. "Ok sweetie, I'll see you later at JJ's game." Sandy turned back to her son on the phone.

"Yeah." Rosaline answered. Before leaving the house she look back at her Mother, she walked back over to her mom and pulled her into a tight hug, "I love you Mom."

Sandy held her daughter for a moment, feeling like she was holding her baby all over again, "I love you to."

_"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Benard Shaw_


	3. Signs

**_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed, or favorited this story. This idea has been in my head for awhile, I hope I do JJ and the show justice. And as always I don't own Criminal Minds._**

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_"If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find." John Churton Collins_

Rosaline stood at her locker, the school day was over, and it hadn't come soon enough for the teenager. The halls were empty, once that bell rang everyone had run out of their high school as fast as they could. Rosaline stared at everything she had in her locker, the pictures of her friends at a Band concert, pictures of Jason and her before prom last year, and numerous post cards from Paris she had collected of the years. She pulled the pictures out and shoved them into her backpack.

There were stacks of papers she had kept, she had been proud of those stories. Without a second thought the stack was thrown to the bottom of a trash can, a loud thump echoing through the halls. Mementos from her high school years tossed aside, as if the life she lived in these halls had been for nothing, the yellow locker was bare save for the stack of text books.

"Ms. Jareau" Roz's favorite teacher walked down the halls toward her student and neighbor. Stacy Thompson had grown up with Sandy and Michael Jareau and had watched as the three Jareau children grew up in front of them. Stacy had always wanted children of her own, when they never came, she treated her students and the Jareau children like they were her babies.

"Hi, Mrs. Thompson." Rosaline quickly closed and locked her locker, not sure what Mrs. Thompson would think of the uncharacteristically bare locker.

"You're here kind of late aren't you? Are you staying for your sister's soccer game?" Mrs. Thompson asked with a smile, everyone in town knew how good a soccer player Jennifer Jareau was, it wasn't every day that an eleven year old played on the 13-14 girls team and still out played them.

"Um, yeah probably." Rosaline merely shrugged.

Mrs. Thompson noticed the stacks of papers in the trash, "Are you cleaning out your locker already? Most kids wait until June to do that."

"It was getting messy…" Before Rosaline could think of a better excuse she was interrupted.

"ROSALINE!" JJ ran towards her sister in her Blue and Yellow East Alleghany Junior Wildcats Uniform. "Roz, are you coming to my game?" JJ was hoping that her big sister had forgotten their fight at the breakfast table. JJ ran up to her big sister, Sandy Jareau following closely behind.

"Jennifer don't be rude," Sandy whispered as her daughter ignored everyone but the sister that she adored.

JJ looked from her sister to her mother and then to their neighbor, "Sorry, Hi Mrs. Thompson. How are you?" she asked politely,

"I'm good thank you JJ." Mrs. Thompson smiled down at the child, like many in the town they found it hard not to smile at the little girl. "I hear your team has a big game today? Are you ready?"

JJ nodded her head excitedly, "Yes ma'am we're playing North Mammon. And we're going to beat them!" North Mammon and East Alleghany had a rivalry that went back as long as anyone in either town could remember, it started with the high school football team and had found its way into any competition where the two towns competed. JJ knew everyone was counting on her team to beat the North Mammon Devils.

"You're going to come watch, right Roz?" JJ pleaded with her big sister, "You can't miss this game!"

"I don't know JJ," Rosaline picked up her backpack and threw it over her shoulder, the last thing she wanted was to be at a soccer game, she just wanted to go home and be alone.

"Please Rosaline! Please! I'm sorry I read you diary I promise, PINKY PROMISE, I'll never ever ever do it again!" JJ pleaded again hugging her sister for good measure.

Rosaline pulled her sister off her, "I said I don't know JJ!" the frustration with her little sister evident, "I have homework to do." She added softly, realizing she was hurting her sister.

"Jennifer, Rosaline, enough." Sandy interrupted. She had been prepared for her children to fight, it was expected, but it seemed like all her daughters seemed to do lately was fight.

"Sorry, Mom." Both girls grumbled.

Stacy Thompson could feel the tension between the girls and their mother, wanting to help cut through the awkward situation she kneeled down in front of the young soccer star, "You know JJ, Mr. Thompson was telling me that he saw you practicing your bicycle kick in the backyard," Stacy spoke of her husband, who was the High School girls soccer coach. Stacy knew that would get JJ excited hearing that her husband had noticed her.

"Really?" She asked excited. Stacy nodded her head, "Do you think you could show me how you do that?" Stacy looked up at Sandy Jareau, their eyes meeting for a moment, "If your mom says that's ok of course."

"Please Mom! Can I?" JJ begged her mother. Sandy could only shake her head at her little girl, "Yes, Jennifer you can go. I want you to listen to Mrs. Thompson and stay where she can see you. Is that clear?"

"Yes Mom. I promise." JJ hugged her mother before grabbing her blonde neighbors arm trying to pull her out to the soccer fields. Stacy took a quick look back at Sandy and Rosaline Jareau, noticing for the first time the sad look in Rosaline's dark brown eyes. She quickly nodded her head at Sandy as the older women mouth a word of thanks.

With her younger daughter's attention occupied Sandy focused on Rosaline. "Rosaline, what's going on? We always watch the games as a family."

"I know Mom," Rosaline inhaled deeply, she tried to think of reasons her mother would accept for her missing a family function.

"Baby, what's wrong?" the tired look in her daughters eyes didn't escape the seasoned parent. She could see something was bothering her little girl, and as much as she had tried to brush it off, something had been bothering her for some time now, and it was more than just a break up.

Rosaline's deep brown eyes meet with her mother's blue ones. While the color of their eyes were different they had always held the same expressive looks. That was the only part of her mother it seemed Rosaline had inherited, she had her father's dark hair and coarse features, features they also shared with her older brother. If it wasn't for their eyes it would be hard to believe that they were family. Rosaline could see the pain in her mother's eyes, she knew that she was causing that pain.

Rosaline hated being the cause of the pained look in her eyes, but she didn't know how to stop her mother's pain. She couldn't seem to stop the pain she felt constantly, how was she supposed to help someone else.

The hallway was quiet as mother and daughter stood next to one another, neither knowing what words could make things better. Rosaline wanted to break down, to tell her mother how bad she was hurting, she wanted to crawl in her mother's lap like she was a child again. Sandy Jareau slowly brought her soft hand up to her daughter's cheek, she caressed the girl's cheek softly with her thumb. When a single tear escaped those dark brown eyes Sandy silently wiped it away and pulled her daughter to her chest and held her tightly.

"I've got you baby, it's going to be ok." Rosaline laid her head against her mother's comforting body, wishing she could believe her. That she could believe that everything was going to be ok, that her parents could fix everything. Rosaline wished she could be JJ again, that she was young enough to believe in magic, that their father could make the monsters disappear. That a warm cup of hot chocolate held enough of their mother's love to make all their problems go away. But, Rosaline wasn't a child anymore. She knew that monsters still existed, and that they didn't hide inside your closet, or under your bed, that sometimes they were invisible and sometimes they weren't. She knew that a cup of hot chocolate or a warm batch up Sandy's Jareau's famous chocolate chip peanut-butter cookies wouldn't solve the ill fates that life could throw at them.

For one weak moment Rosaline let herself believe in childish dreams again as she closed her eyes and inhaled her mother's familiar scent. A soft mixture of Suave Shampoo and cookies, the scents of her childhood. She felt like the world around them slowly disappeared, she forgot that she had been cleaning out her locker, she'd forgotten about the heartbreaking look in her sister's eyes when JJ realized her big sister didn't want to go to her game, and for just a brief moment she forgot about the constant pain she had been feeling.

Sandy wrapped her arms around her seventeen year old daughter, she remember what it was like to be seventeen. A time when it felt like the world was against you, you were too young to be an adult but too young to be a child. She wanted nothing more than to shield her children from the pain that this world so often dealt people, who so often were the ones who least deserved the pain. She held her daughter just a little tighter in an effort to protect her daughter just a little longer.

"Mom, I…I'm…" Rosaline tried to form the words, to tell her mother just what she was feeling, what she was thinking, but the words just couldn't come out.

"It's okay baby, you can tell me anything." Sandy whispered softly, taking her time not wanting to push her child.

Rosaline pulled back just enough so that she could look into her mother's eyes again, she could see her own reflection in her mother's eyes, she could see just for a moment the way that her mother saw her. For just a moment she felt safe. Just as she was ready to tell her mother everything, that moment passed, and Rosaline was reminded of the truths of life.

"I'm tired Mom, I just don't feel like going to JJ's soccer game today." Rosaline finally said, and in that moment she saw the change in her mother's eyes. She could tell that her mother didn't believe her.

Sandy let out a deep sigh, she knew there was something going on with her daughter, and it was more than being tired and more than not wanting to go to a soccer game. "Rosaline…" she started.

"Mom, please." The teenager pleaded, "I've got so much homework, I think I took too many AP Classes this year, and I think you were right I didn't need AP French." Sandy opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted, "Please mom I just need to go home."

Sandy finally nodded her head, "Alright, I'll tell your sister you'll be at the next game. We will talk later though," she finished firmly.

Rosaline nodded her head in agreement before turning to leave. Sandy watched as her daughter walked out of the school alone, talking a moment to pray for her little girl and whatever it is was that was causing her so much sadness.

_We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa_


	4. Family

**A/N Thank you everyone for your reviews, I appreciate everyone one of them as well as the favorites and the follows. As always I do not own Criminal Minds.**

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_"You have to love your children unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way." Barbara Bush_

Michael Jareau carefully navigated the family car through the streets of East Alleghany, he had grown up here and knew these streets better than anyone. As the car stopped at the lone traffic light, Michael laced his fingers between his wife's delicate fingers. He looked from her deep blue eyes into the rear view mirror. Sandy noticed where he was looking and turned her body to look at their daughter.

They hadn't even been in the car five minutes and the eleven year old girl was out, her face caked in a mixture of sweat and dirt. Her soccer uniform was covered in dried mud and dirt stains, the mud from her cleats had left a thick layer of dirt on the plastic floor mats.

"When I watch her playing I sometimes forget she's only eleven." Michael smiled at his wife as she tore her eyes of their youngest child. Sandy nodded her head in agreement, "She played hard out there today, I think she forgets she's not fourteen like the rest of them. I had to hold myself back when that North Mammon girl kicked her in the head, I still say it wasn't an accident."

Michael laughed, his wife was certainly a Mama bear. They had both watched in horror as JJ slumped down to the ground after what was a nasty kick. For the two minutes his daughter laid on the ground not moving Michael had forgotten how to breathe. Sandy had stood on instinct ready to run down to the field, it had been her husband's comforting hand that had stopped her, she had stood in the bleachers for what felt the longest two minutes of her life as JJ's coach had run on to the field to check on his player. When the blonde little girl stood up triumphantly the crowd gave a appreciative round of applause, Sandy on the other hand, let the ref's and opposing players know just what she thought of, as she deemed it, a cheap shot.

"All that matters baby is that she's ok, she'll have a nice bruise on the side of her head, but she's fine." Michael had always been the mellower of the parents when it came to injuries but when it came to JJ he hated to see that little girl in any kind of pain, he had just learned to mask his fears better than his overprotective wife.

"Yes, and she's going to love the latest battle wound." Sandy shook her head, her Jennifer was not a dainty little girl by any means. When she was six she broke her ankle during a neighborhood soccer game and had worn the cast with pride, and was only upset when she learned she couldn't play sports for six weeks.

The car slowly moved forward as Michael pressed on the gas when the light turned green. It took ten minutes to get from downtown to their family home off Jefferson Road. "Looks like we've got company for dinner." Michael pointed out their oldest child's car, parked in front of their home.

When the car engine died down Sandy turned in her seat, "Jennifer," she tried to wake her daughter up, "Jennifer, sweetie we're home." Sandy watched as Jennifer's eyes slowly opened revealing the bright blue eyes that matched her own. "Come on baby, David's here, I'm sure he brought Sarah and James." Sandy's mention of David's wife and son got the young aunt to quickly jump out of the car and run in side.

"DAVID! SARAH!" JJ yelled out as she ran into the house. She kicked her soccer cleats off at the front door and quickly ran through the house looking for her big brother. As the house seemed to shake from the intrusion of the exuberant child, David smiled down at his own wife and child. "We're in the family room JJ."

Just seconds later David Jareau was catching a big ball of blonde hair and a dirty soccer uniform. He easily picked his sister up and threw her over his shoulder, "Hey Dad! Did you bring JJ home with you?" David joked as he pretended to look for his baby sister.

"David!" JJ giggled as she lightly smacked his back.

"Sarah, did you hear that? I swear it sounded like my sister but I can't seem to find her?" David turned to his wife, who smiled up at him. "I don't know baby."

David spun around in circles hold JJ tightly as the little girl giggled, "Come on JJ where are you? I can hear you but where are you hiding?" After making both himsellf and his sister sufficiently dizzy David sat on the couch next to his wife, "Well I guess we'll never find out if our Wildcats managed to cream the Devils or not.

"Lmprh urph" JJ was stuck between her big brother and the couch, her voiced muffled by the cushions. "DAVID LET ME UP!" She finally got out between giggles. David lifted her up from his shoulder, "Well there you are! What are you doing hiding inside the couch!" Looking around the room quickly, "You better not let Momma see you hiding in her couch with that dirty uniform on squirt" he whispered in her ear, "Don't worry I won't tattle, if you pay me that is."

JJ looked towards the kitchen in horror, even though she hadn't been the one to sit on her mother's couch in her uniform, she thought for sure her Mom would get upset, "But I don't have anything to pay you with!" JJ exclaimed.

David lifted her again, this time turning her upside down, "What no money! How can you not have anything to pay me with?" As she hung upside down he shook her up and down waiting for money, he knew full well she didn't have, to fall out. JJ's laughter filled the house as she enjoyed time with her big brother.

Upstairs in the dark room across from David's old bedroom Rosaline listened to her sibling's laughter. She remembered when they were kids how much fun the three kids would have. She laid silently against her comforter, wanting more than anything to run down the stairs and join in the fun. To tickle JJ with her big brother, to cuddle with her nephew, to talk about hair and make-up with her sister in law.

A single tear found its way down the seventeen year olds cheek, she wanted to be with her family, but something inside was holding her back. Something was telling her that they didn't need or want her, that she wasn't good enough. The pain she felt in her heart was suffocating and constant.

As Rosaline watched the sun set from her bedroom window Sandy Jareau was finding her oldest and youngest child making a small mess in her living room, "David put your sister down." She acknowledged them sternly, trying her hardest to keep a straight face.

"It's her fault!" David pointed down at his sister at the same second she pointed up at him, "He did it!" With the worried look on her daughters face Sandy lost all ability to be stern, she started laughing, "You two will never learn will you?"

David pulled his sister against him, "Nope. Never gonna happen Mom." JJ looked up at the big brother she adored and nodded her head in agreement.

"I surrender!" Sandy threw her hands up in mock defeat as she looked over at Michael, who was watching the entire scene from his La-Z-Boy, and knew he would be no help. "Alright, JJ I want you to go upstairs and tell Rosaline that dinner will be ready in an hour, then I want you in the shower."

JJ nodded her head, she knew enough not to argue with her mother, as she turned to run up the stairs David stopped her. "Hey wait a second! You never told me who won the game."

"Well, first…" before JJ even had a chance to tell David about the game she was interrupted, "You can tell your brother all about the game at dinner, besides I'm sure Roz wants to hear about the game."

Disappointed JJ turned to go back upstairs before being pulled back one last time by her brother, "Come on kiddo at least tell me the score."

Looking around for her parents she noticed her mother occupied with her grandson and her father was intentionally looking the other direction, "The score was 2-1." She whispered in his ear. David tried to look into her eyes to see if he could figure out whose team won. Finally he asked one more question, "And, how many goals did my soccer star sister score?"

She gave him a mischievous smile and whispered in his ear one last time before running up the stairs, "Two."

With a smile that stretched ear to ear JJ ran up to her sister's door. She look at the door trying to see if Rosaline had added any new pictures of Paris to her collection. Rosaline had so many pictures that she had found of Paris on her wall that she had to use her door to continue her collection. JJ knew how much her sister loved Paris and wanted to move there when she was older, JJ was even saving her money to buy her sister a new book about France she saw at the book store.

Not seeing any new pictures JJ quickly tapped on her sister door using their secret knock that let Roz know it was her. JJ waited for her sister to say something, to tell her to come in. She knocked again and was once again met with silence. JJ hung her head, she knew Roz was still mad at her about the incident at the breakfast table. "Roz," she called out, "Roz, mom says dinner will be ready in an hour."

Rosaline continued to stare out her window ignoring the pained sound in her sisters voice, she knew was causing that pain, it seemed like all she did lately was cause pain either to herself or others. As she heard the water to the shower turn on she got up off her bed and reached into her jewelry box, she was determined to make this up to her sister.

Twenty minutes later JJ was throwing her soccer uniform into the hamper as she put back on her school clothes. Just as she finished pulling her shirt over her head she heard the familiar knock on her door. Without having to open the door she knew she would find her big sister on the other side.

_"People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long" Johnny Depp_


	5. The Necklace

**This chapter and the following chapter contain mentions of self harm and suicide and may be too graphic for some. As always thank you for your reviews they are welcome and appreciated. I do not own criminal minds.**

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_"Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister" Alice Walker_

Upon hearing the secret knock on her door JJ quickly jumped off her bed and swung open her door for her older sister. "Roz!" She grabbed her sister's hand dragging her into the confines of her bed room. Sitting on the pink and blue comforter, JJ cautiously looked into Rosaline's eyes, hoping her sister wasn't still angry with her. "Roz, are you still mad at me?" The blonde asked.

Rosaline smiled down at her baby sister, she knew she could never be mad at her sister for very long. Since the day their parents brought JJ home Rosaline had fallen in love with her sister. There were times when JJ, of course, got on her nerves but nothing would ever make Rosaline stop loving her sister. Rosaline put a comforting arm around JJ, "Of course not Jayge. You know I hate when you sneak in my room, but I'm not mad anymore."

For the next few minutes Rosaline listened as JJ gave the play by play details of her soccer game. In spite of the aching inside Rosaline couldn't help but smile as JJ described how she had tied the game with only seconds left on the clock. When JJ described how the girl, twice her size as JJ put it, had kicked her in the head; Rosaline put a comforting hand on her sisters head feeling the quickly forming bruise. And when JJ jumped up and down on the bed as she described the final play during double overtime where she scored the winning goal, Roz cheered right along with her sister.

It was a short conversation in the two sister's lives but for Rosaline it was a moment of escape. In her baby sister she found a brief moment where the pain wasn't consuming her, where the smile on her face wasn't forced. Just as quickly as the moment started it was over as their mother called them down for dinner.

Just as JJ jumped off the bed and ran towards the door she was stopped by Rosaline's firm grip. Rosaline smiled at her sister, "We'll be there in a minute Mom!" Rosaline shouted down stairs as she gently pushed her sister back down on the bed.

JJ looked up at her sister the look of confusion in her eyes evident. Rosaline reached in to her pocket and held something in her fist as she looked at her sister with more love than she realized. "JJ you know you're special right?" Rosaline started, "Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." With her free hand she caressed JJ's fair skin. "You're going to be the first Jareau to get out of this town."

JJ looked confused, "But, you're going to live in Paris Roz!" Rosaline sadly shook her head, "No, baby I'm not. That's just a dream."

"Mom and Dad said we can make our dreams come true, we just have to work really hard." JJ countered. It was true Michael and Sandy Jareau had always made sure their children knew that they could be anything they wanted in life, that no one could hold them back from their dreams, except themselves.

Rosaline tried to give her sister a meek smile, trying not to crush her sisters' innocence, "Sometimes Jayge things don't work out the way we want them to. Sometimes life just isn't fair." Noticing the look of confusion on JJ's eyes Rosaline continued, "You know its ok for dreams to change JJ. That's all a part of growing up, but I know that you baby sister, you're going to leave this town one day. You're what we call one of kind sweetie. Unlike me and David you can make anyone do anything you want."

Rosaline laughed at the many memories of how JJ had teachers, neighbors, even their own parents wrapped around her fingers from an early age. "When you want something JJ, you get it. People want to be around you, even people who just met you. And that sweetie is a rare quality. I want you to promise me something Jennifer."

JJ for her part didn't take exception to her given name, something inside told her this was going to be a rare but important conversation with her older sister, she felt like her sister was imparting in her wisdom she would need as she grew. "Anything, Roz" JJ whispered.

"Promise me you'll never change the amazing little girl you are. One day baby you're going to make a difference in this world. You're going to leave East Alleghany and you're going to make me, and David, and Mom and Dad very proud." Rosaline took her sisters hand and turned it palm up, she placed a gold chain in her sisters' soft hands, "Remember no matter what I will always love you Jennifer."

JJ looked from her sisters' now sad eyes down into the palm of her hand. It was with surprise that she looked down at the gold necklace Rosaline had been given by their father for her thirteenth birthday. JJ gasped as her mind processed the gift her sister was giving her. Part of her was ecstatic, from the day Michael had placed the necklace around the new teenager's neck, JJ had wanted one just like her sister. JJ had begged on more than one occasion to borrow the precious gift, always being denied, Rosaline explaining it was her special necklace.

Her mind was waging an internal battle, could she keep her sisters necklace? Surely her sister would just make her give it back in a few days. As she look at the small hearts attached to the chain, JJ wanted more than anything to put the gift around her own neck. For once she would be big just like Roz. In spite of herself JJ tightly gripped the necklace in her fist and turned her hand back to her sister. Rosaline shook her head and lifted her body from the twin size bed, "No baby that's your necklace now." Before leaving the room Rosaline bent down and kissed the top of JJ's head, "Remember Jayge, no matter what happens I will always love you." JJ watched as Rosaline walked out of her room leaving the eleven year old alone with only her thoughts and the gold necklace. JJ put the gift in the safety of her jewelry boxes promising she would never lose such a precious gift.

Hours later the house was dark as the Jareau family was fast asleep. The laughter they shared over dinner had long since stopped echoing through the walls. The only noise came from Michael's soft snoring in the master bedroom.

Rosaline lifted herself out of the warm comforts of her bed. She looked around her bedroom wanting to make sure everything was in its place. She carefully remade her bed before tiptoeing out of the room. Her bare feet touched the cold tile of the shared bathroom. While it was a family bathroom, it was evident to any visitor that the women of the house ruled this room. Staring at her own reflection she noticed the sadness in her eyes and the dark circles that just wouldn't go away.

She noticed once again how much of her parents her features held. Her long brown hair, her rough cheeks, and the dimple in her chin all came from her father. Her nose and the depth of her brown eyes she got from her mother. She reached a hand to caress her features in the cold glass of the mirror, feeling once again like that hard cold glass was the same way her heart must feel.

Slowly the medicine cabinet opened and her hand reached forward grasping the old silver razor that her father had inherited from his father and promised one day he would give to David. With a sickening sense of familiarity Rosaline raised the light pink pajama top she had worn to bed. For months now she had been careful to wear clothes that would hide the secrets hidden below. Soft scars were littered across her stomach, she could still remember the first time she slowly moved the sharp blade across her body. Rather than feeling the pain that should have been associated with the blood that escaped from her skin, she felt relief. For once in her short life she had felt like she had control of something. That moment of bliss had been short lived, day after day she put the blade to her skin wanting to feel that sense of euphoria all over again, each time coming up short. Rosaline once again put the blade to her stomach, hand shaking, she knew this wasn't enough, this wouldn't take away the constant pain.

Looking up in to her own vacant eyes Rosaline removed the blade from its target. This time she would make the pain stop, tonight she would be in control and she would be free. She climbed into the large bathtub with its claw feet. She whispered a silent prayer to the God she prayed would forgive her. Slowly she brought the blade to her wrist not caring when her arm fell out of the tub and her blood coating the cold white tile below. She had heard the stories from the girls at school, she knew just where to cut to make sure the pain would go away. Slowly her dark brown eyes closed as she waited for whatever came next. As the sun slowly began to rise over East Alleghany she took slow shallow breaths as she waited to her father to find her, knowing his routine would lead him to this room first, saving her mother and sister from being the ones to witness she selfish decision she couldn't stop from making.

_"Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world." – Jane Addams_


	6. Morning

_"When one door closes, another one opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." – Alexander Graham Bell_

The old two story house on the edge of Jefferson Road sat quietly amongst the long standing family homes. With its worn shutters and neatly kept lawn it looked like its brothers and sisters that shared this street. A house that once echoed with laughter and joy now had a dark cloud surrounding its walls that would soon set it apart from the rest.

Michael Jareau's dark chocolate eyes slowly opened and scanned the darkroom around him, something had woken him from a deep slumber and he couldn't figure out what that was. His dark eyes found their way to the red numbers on the alarm clock next to his bed, he shook his head as he realized he could sleep for another thirty minutes before the loud ringing would insist he start a new day.

Ignoring the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Michael turned onto his side wrapping his strong arms around his wife's stomach pulling her just a little closer to his warm body. The soft sounds of the wind blowing around the house slowly lulled the older man into a dreamless sleep.

A terror filled scream would echo through the hallway and into their bedroom that same scream would force Michael and Sandy Jareau to bolt upright in their beds. They recognized the voice behind the scream but the terror that accompanied it would haunt them forever. Sandy's blue eyes met her husband's for a split second before they ran from their beds needing to find the source of that scream.

Michael reached their bedroom door a half second before his wife and threw the door open with so much force that it slammed against their bedroom wall, leaving a permanent dent in its wake. The first thing he noticed was the bright light coming from the open door of the bathroom. As he approached the door he could hear JJ screaming her sisters name, of all the things his mind had come up with that would cause the pain in his eleven year old daughter's voice what he saw in front of him was the last thing he could have imagined.

Jennifer sobbed as she called out to her big sister, her small hands wrapped around Rosaline's ravaged wrist. The small blonde didn't notice her father standing at the door, her eyes were fixed on her sisters pale face as she tried desperately to keep the blood from flowing from the older girl's soft wrist. JJ had woken up moments before her throat dry, not wanting to go all the way down stairs she had ventured to their bathroom. The moment the door had swung open JJ had been assaulted with the images of her sister slowly slipping away. JJ's bright blue eyes had met with her sisters fading brown eyes, she hadn't even registered the scream that had flown from her mouth as she knelt next to the sister she adored.

JJ didn't feel the cold wet blood soaking through her purple pajama pants as she absently lowered herself into the pool of blood, the only thing going through the girls mind was to help her sister. Tears ran freely down her checks as she begged her sister to never leave her.

Rosaline could feel the world around her slowly slipping away moment by moment as the dark red blood escaped from her arm, the deep cut caused by her own hand. She had felt her body becoming lighter as the seconds ticked by into minutes. Rosaline could feel the end coming when the door had swung open, it was with terror filled eyes that she looked at her baby sister. Rosaline had tried desperately to regain control of her body enough to stop Jennifer from coming into the room, to stop her from witnessing the horror she had caused. But, one again, Rosaline had no control. She had never intended for her little sister to find her like this, to be scarred by the actions Rosaline had been planning for longer than she cared to admit.

As she felt the small hands wrap around her wrists, she tried and failed to pull herself away from the blonde, she tried to tell her sister to leave, to tell her she was sorry, but the words never formed.

Rosaline had heard the scream that echoed through their home, she watched helplessly as the tears covered Jennifer's pale face. She knew in that moment she had stolen her sister's innocence, she knew that because of her actions Jennifer Jareau would never be the same again. The world was slowly growing dark around the seventeen year old as her eyes moved from JJ to the parents, that had loved her from the moment she was conceived, as the they stood in shock at the sight of their two daughters.

"Rosaline! Roz!" Jennifer screamed out for her sister as her father quickly picked her up off the floor, forcing the small child to loosen her grip around Rosaline's wrist. Michael pushed the crying child to his chest as he tried to get her out of the bathroom. "No Daddy! Daddy please! Roz! Roz!" Michael's heart was breaking as her small frame pushed against his strong chest, wrapping his arms around her, clinging to her knowing he needed her more than she needed him. Michael fought his own tears as he whispered in her ear, "I've got you JJ, Daddy has you." He ran out of the room with his little girl wanting to protect her as much as possible.

The moment that Michael picked up Jennifer, the dark fog around Sandy seemed to lift as she jumped into action. She yelled for him to call 911 and get Jennifer downstairs. The young mother than ran over to her pale daughter. Sandy grabbed a towel from the counter and wrapped it around the cuts, trying to stop the bleeding until help could get there. Using all the strength she had she pulled her daughter out of the bathtub. Sandy sat on the tile floor her daughters head in her lap, "Oh Roz what did you do?" she cried as she used one had to run her hand across her daughters once tan face, now a sick shade of grey.

Rosaline had seen the blood that coated her sisters' clothes, she had seen the anger and sadness in her father's face. She could feel her mother trying to save her life. In that moment Rosaline regretted the choices she made. As she lay on the floor her mother holding her tightly, whispering how much she loved her, Rosaline wanted to live. As she felt her mother's love surround her she regretted putting the razor to her wrist. Rosaline wanted to take back her actions, to go back in time just an hour, to stop herself from breaking her families hearts, but it was too late she couldn't go back she made her choice and now her family would have to live with it.

_"As anyone who has been close to someone that has committed suicide knows, there is no other pain like that felt after the incident." – Peter Green_


	7. The Call

**A/N First thank you everyone for your kind reveiws, the last chapter was hard to write but I thought it was important to end it the way I did. I'm not sure about this chapter especially the way it ends. It didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to but here it is anyway.**

**For this next chapter there are a few terms to know. I am a 911 dispatcher and we use 10 codes so I used some of our terms in this story. These are codes and their meanigns for my agency. If you know 10 codes these may different then the ones you know.**

**CAD – **Computer Aided Dispatch, **1031 **– Suicidal Subject, **1141 **– Ambulance, **Code 3 – **Emergency Response (Lights and Sirens) **1097 **– Arrived on Scene, **Xray **– Female

**As always thank you for the reveiws and I don't own Crminal Minds.**

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_"Lord…Give me nerves of steel that I may listen to a mother screaming for her child to live" Dispatchers Prayer_

"911 Emergency, what are you reporting?" the tired dispatcher picked up the line ready to enter information into her screen. It had been a long slow night. She had even resorted to using the most dreaded word in the dispatch vocabulary; quite. She had told the lone unit patrolling East Alleghany that it was a quite night in hopes for a little action that would help the night go by just a little faster. Two hours after she muttered the 'dirty' word, she would soon regret it.

A frantic male's voice came across the line, his words barely understandable as he begged for help. The sound of a young girl crying in the background caused the dispatcher's heart to break, she knew this wasn't going to be a good call. "Sir, please I need you to calm down. Take a deep breath sir. Can you tell me your name?" the seasoned dispatcher expertly took control of the call.

"Michael, Micahel Jareau." The voice on the other line answered before losing control of himself all over again.

The dispatcher froze for just a second as she heard his name, she knew the Jareau family, and she had gone to school with David Jareau. "Ok Michael, I need you to calm down. Take a breath for me Michael." She calmly spoke to him, pushing her own fears aside. Listening as the distraught father took a few short shallow breaths she encouraged him. She knew she needed to ask him more questions but wanted to take a moment for him to calm down, knowing it would get help to him faster if he could accurately give her the information she needed.

When she was convinced he had calmed down she started talking to him again, her voice calm and even, "Michael can you tell me your address?"

"1860 Jefferson Road." She typed the information into her CAD screen as he gave her the information. "Ok, Michael what's going on at 1860 Jefferson Road?" She confirmed the address at the same time as pressing him for more information.

"My daughter, oh my God my daughter." Michael Jareau was standing in the middle of their family room cursing himself for losing control. The voice on the other line comforted him, reminded him to take deep breaths, "My daughter she cut her wrists, there's a lot of blood. Please get here now!" his control quickly fading as the grief took over.

"Michael we're going to get help there as soon as we can sweetheart, I need you to stay calm. How old is your daughter Michael?" The dispatcher continued.

"She's seventeen, her name is Rosaline, please help her."

"Ok Michael do you know what Rosaline used to cut her wrists and do you know where it is now?" the dispatcher worked on getting the necessary information out of him.

"What?" Michael was confused, "What does that matter! Just get them here now!" His anger growing at what he thought were needless questions that were delaying help.

"Michael, we're going to get help to you but there are questions I have to ask. Where is the weapon Rosaline used to hurt herself?" the dispatcher remained in control even though she knew the young girl who had attempted to end her own life.

Michael thought back to the scene he walked into just a few moments ago, "Um my razor she used my razor. It was laying on the floor of the bathroom, my wife she grabbed it when I was getting JJ out of the room."

"Ok, you're doing great Michael I want you stay on the phone with me ok. I'm going to put this out to our units and my partner is going to start an ambulance." The dispatcher calmly explained, not waiting for him to answer she turned to her partner and told her to start the ambulance then pressed the pedal to the radio console, "Charles-9, dispatch 1031, 1860 Jefferson Road," she signaled to the unit.

"Go ahead dispatch." The male voice promptly came back.

"Charles-9, dispatch, we have a 1031, 1860 Jefferson Road. Seventeen year old xray cut her wrist with a razor. Weapon is secure, 1141 enroute will stage for your signal. Code three response needed." She gave him the information.

"10-4 Enroute Code 3." The unit responded to dispatch before hitting his lights and sirens and racing towards the house they all knew.

"Michael, I have officers on their way." The dispatcher turned her attention back to her caller, "You did really good sir." Moments later she disconnected the phone as she heard Michael acknowledge the officers at the door, the unit came over the radio assuring dispatch they were 1097. She laid her head into her hands saying a quick prayer for the Jareau family.

From the moment Michael heard the harsh knock on his door everything around him became a blur. With barely a word of acknowledgement the two officers quickly ran up the stairs. He watched helplessly as the EMT's ran up the stairs, he paced around waiting for news, praying they could save her. All Michael could think was that he was Rosaline's father, he should be up there doing something for her, and he was supposed to protect her. "It's going to be okay JJ. They're going to take care of Rosaline. It's going to ok." Michael spoke to his youngest child who was now curled up on the couch a distant look in her eyes.

Officer Jeffery Mason was the first responder to reach the bathroom, everything he had seen and learned in the academy and during his short time on the force couldn't have prepared him for seeing someone he knew dying in front of him. He found Sandy Jareau holding tightly to her seventeen year old daughter begging her to hold on just a little longer. Officer Mason crouched down next to the mother and daughter, he noticed the slow shallow breaths the younger girl was taking, and he knew time wasn't on their side.

He signaled to dispatch that the scene was clear for EMT's to enter. "Sandy," he focused his attention back on the mother who held tightly to her daughter, almost willing her to live. She paid no attention to the officers that were standing in her bathroom, and when the EMT's came in she pulled her daughter a little closer, not wanting to ever let go. "Sandy," he whispered again, "You've got to let Roz go, the EMT's need to do their jobs, let them save her."

Sandy looked up at him with her soft blue eyes, the look she gave him spoke louder than any words she could have formed. Her eyes pleaded with him to save her little girl, to not let this be the day she had to outlive a child.

Michael continued to pace around the living room floor as he waited for word on his daughter, he felt like it had been an eternity since he watched the EMT's race through his house. He could swear it had been hours, rather than the mere minutes, since they had found their daughter dying in the bathroom tub. The soft sounds of footsteps coming down the stairs stopped him in his tracks. He watched as he wife came down the stairs, visible tears streaking down her face. Seeing his wife so distraught he immediately jumped to the worst conclusion.

Michael shook his head, "She's not…please….Sandy…" his mouth couldn't for them the question. His mind couldn't comprehend losing his daughter.

"She's barely hanging on." Sandy wrapped her arms around her husband needing to feel his strong arms around her, she needed his comfort as much as he needed hers. "Jeffery said they were getting her ready to transport to the hospital in North Mammon. She's so pale Mike, what was she thinking?"

Before Michael had a chance to answer the EMT's came down the stairs, Rosaline Jareau lay still on the gurney, one of the EMT's using an Ambu-Bag to give the high schooler oxygen. The other EMT was yelling information into his radio to the hospital. They paid no attention to the two parents watching their every move, their only concern was the young girl who was slowly fading away.

Officer Mason walked up to the Jareau's, "The EMT's said one of you could ride with them, but you need to go now."

Sandy and Michael looked at one another, "You go Mike. If….If something happens…" Sandy had gotten time with her daughter alone in that bathroom, time to tell her daughter how much she loved her, and if this was the end she had a chance to tell Rosaline goodbye. Her husband needed that chance as well. She didn't need to finish her thoughts Michael knew what she was trying to say, he pulled her into a quick hug before running out the door to ride with his little girl to the hospital.

Sandy watched from the front door as her husband climbed into the ambulance, she watched as he grabbed the hand she hadn't cut, and began talking to his daughter. She knew what he was saying, they were the same words she had shared with her daughter.

"Sandy?" Officer Mason tapped on her shoulder. She turned to look at him, seeing the young boy her son had grown up with not the officer he had become.

"Jeffery, I need to get to the hospital." Sandy told him as she turned back into her home looking for her car keys.

He put a hand on her shoulders, "We'll take you there Mrs. Jareau, but first there's some questions we need to ask you." He noticed the confusion on her eyes, he knew this wasn't the best time for the Jareau family but he still had a job to do, "Sandy what happened tonight? Has Rosaline ever tried to hurt herself before?"

Sandy shook her head, "What? No, of course not. Why? Why are you asking this? We need to get to the hospital." She wasn't prepared for the questions the officers had to ask, what she didn't understand was that suicide was considered a crime and had to be investigated like any other.

"Sandy I'm sorry," he explained to her the process as gently as he could, "Can you tell me what happened before you found Roz in the bathroom?" he pushed her gently.

Sandy thought back to the events just a mere twenty minutes earlier, "I was asleep, and all of a sudden there was a scream." The sound of Jennifer's scream echoed in her mind, "Michael and I we…we ran to the sound…we found Jennifer and Rosaline. Jennifer was trying to stop the bleeding. Michael grabbed Jennifer and took her out of the bathroom. I stayed with Rosaline. Oh God Rosaline what was she thinking?" Sandy broke down and cried into the Officers shoulder.

"Oh God, Jennifer. Where is Jennifer?" Sandy suddenly thought of her younger daughter, she realized she hadn't seen the little girl since Michael had rushed her out of the bathroom. "She's ok Sandy." Officer Mason answered, "She's in the living room."

Sandy ran into the other room needing to see for herself that Jennifer was ok, as ok as an eleven year old could be in given the circumstances. Sandy found Jennifer curled up on the couch, she could tell that Michael had tried to clean the little girl up. Her hands were now free of the blood Jennifer had tried, unsuccessfully, to stop from leaving Roz's small wrists. Jennifer stared at an unknown spot on the wall across the room as she sucked on her thumb, something she hadn't done sense she was a toddler.

"Jennifer?" Sandy sat on the couch next to her daughter, "JENNIFER!" Sandy said a little louder not getting a response from her.

JJ never acknowledged her mother, she continued to suck on her thumb and stare blankly ahead. Sandy put a hand on her daughters face, she instantly noticed how cold the little girl was, and she then noticed the way her little body shivered. "Jennifer! You're freezing." She quickly pulled Jennifer into her arms trying to warm her up. "Jennifer! Talk to Mommy!" she noticed the cold distant stare in her eyes.

Officer Mason came over at the concerned sound in Sandy's voice. He took one look at the little girl and knew what was going on, the events of the evening had caused the small child to go into shock, he knew they needed to get her to the hospital and soon.

_"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep." –Robert Frost_


	8. A Fathers Words

**A/N - Sorry for the delay I write at work and last week didn't get a chance. Thank you for your reviews, favorites, and follows. As always I don't own Criminal Minds.**

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_"The world breaks everyone, and afterword many are stronger in the broken places." Ernest Hemingway_

The sirens wailed as the ambulance raced down the streets of East Alleghany. The few cars making their way across town pulled to the side and watched curiously as the ambulance sped by. The driver clung tightly to the steering wheel as he expertly maneuvered the rig down street after street only slowing down enough to take the necessary turns. The EMT had made this drive more times than he could remember, he could make it in his sleep if he needed to. This drive seemed more urgent than most of the others, he wanted to get this girl to the hospital as fast as he could.

Michael Jareau sat on the hard plastic bench in the back of the ambulance. He watched silently as the other EMT tended to his daughter, checking her vitals and relaying information to the hospital. Michael had no use for the medical terms that rolled off their tongues with ease, all he wanted to know was if he baby girl was going to make it.

The ambulance jerked harshly as they hit a bump in the road causing Rosaline's non-injured had to fall from the gurney. Without a thought or asking for permission he reached out and wrapped his calloused hands around her soft delicate ones. He held tight to her hand willing his strength to pass to her, to keep her with them. He looked over his once vibrant daughter, barely recognizing the girl in front of him.

Her once warm glowing skin was a sickly grey, dark black circles surrounded her brown eyes. Her eyelids were only partially closed as the young girl barely clung to the life she had been so desperate to leave. Her soft pink lips were hidden beneath an oxygen mask, but he could see their pale shade of blue. Her hand felt cold next to his, further evidence of the damage the deep cuts on the other arm had done. Her chest would rise and fall every few seconds as she struggled to accept the oxygen they were forcing into her.

They made their way through East Alleghany and down the familiar roads of North Mammon. Michael had made this drive hundreds of times in his life; his own football games in high school, to watch David's baseball games, Rosaline's band concerts, and JJ's soccer games. Happy memories of car rides with their family where quickly being erased by what felt the longest and most excruciating ride of his life.

Michael could feel the ambulance slowing as they approached the hospital, he knew if something went wrong this could be the last moment he had with his baby. Michael took his other hand and placed on top of her head, running his hand through her thick brown hair, "Rosaline, honey." he leaned down close to her, praying she could hear him.

He watched as she slowly turned her head towards him her eyes opening just a little more, revealing the beautiful brown eyes she had inherited from him. "Roz, honey I want you to know matter what I love, I love you baby." Michael fought to keep his emotions at bay for just a few moments, she needed to see the strong Daddy that could scare away the monsters and make her boo-boo's go away. "I know right now everything seems hopeless and scary but Mom and I we're here Rosaline, we forgive you and we love you."

He wanted to plead with her and beg her to fight, to stay with him but before he got the chance the doors flew open, a cold wind entering the back of the ambulance. The EMT's paid no attention to the concerned father, who just wanted one more moment with his little girl, as they ripped the gurney from its place and started racing down the hallway.

Michael watched as they told they doctors Rosaline's condition and what she had done to herself, he listened to the Doctors park orders at the nurses. Michael wanted to run after them to hold his daughter just a little longer.

The red and blue lights glowed down Jefferson Road casting eerie shadows across the houses. The families who lived down Jefferson Road had been startled awake not long ago by the loud screams of the police car now parked in front of 1860 Jefferson, when the Ambulance had raced down their street the curious neighbors had begun forming groups across the road, watching and waiting for information.

There had been an audible gasp when they watched as Rosaline was brought out of the house on a gurney, her father running next to her. When just minutes later a second ambulance came racing down the street, they started to fear the worse.

Whispers of domestic violence began to snake through the crowds but was quickly dismissed, Michael and Sandy Jareau could never hurt their children. It was when they watched as Jennifer was taken out of the house and rushed into the second ambulance that they began to assume the worst.

They wondered if someone had broken into the home and hurt the two young Jareau sisters. Images of a masked man running through the town had caused mothers to hold their children just a little tighter. People continued to linger on the streets as more Police officers showed up and began putting up crime scene tape around the front of the house. For the first time, in as long as anyone could remember, the families here didn't feel safe in their own town.

Officer Mason had been watching as the crowd grew across the street, he knew these people he knew that they were probably going crazy thinking of all the possible scenarios of why the Police had shown up here tonight. Not able to ignore the people who had played a large part in raising him as a boy, he made his way to them.

"Jeffery Mason, you tell us what's going on here." Mrs. Jacobson demanded. She was an older woman who used to teach at the local high school. Jeffery had been one of her students in her final years teaching.

The young officer could only shake his head, "I can't tell you all the details of an ongoing investigation," he started giving the typical Police party line.

Mrs. Jacobson scoffed, "Jeffery we have a right to know if we or our children are in any kind of danger. Now tell me what the hell happened in that house tonight young man." She challenged him like no one else there could.

"I'm sorry," he started again, "I can't tell you what happened," he put his hand up to silence them before the outcry started again, "What I can tell you for now is that everyone is safe, there's no criminal out there stalking and hurting young girls." Jeffery knew what their worst fears would be and quickly squashed them, "I can also tell you that a family in our town needs our help right now. You all know the Jareau Family, they're our family and our friends. Right now they need your love and your support, not your gossip." He told them sternly.

They all looked at each other realizing that was exactly what they had been doing, starting rumors about what had gone on in that house without know the facts. Mrs. Jacobson nodded her head, "We won't be spreading no rumors here, I can promise you that." She said with authority, "Are those girls going to be ok?" Her face softened, "Are Rosaline and Jennifer going to be ok?"

Jeffery looked at them sadly, "I don't ma'am, just pray for them, pray for all of them." With that he walked back to the house across the way.

_"What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller_


	9. The Hosptial

_"There's two things I know for sure: She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl…I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is. I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses" – Bob Carlisle "Butterfly Kisses"_

Michael stood stoically at the nurses' station, all the forms he had been handed hastily filled out. He peered around the cluttered desk looking for a nurse, he needed to give them the forms but, more importantly he needed to see if there was any news on his seventeen year old daughter. The nurses that rushed by barely acknowledged the concerned father, who had the saddest brown eyes they could remember seeing, as they rushed past him running from room to room, all with the same goal in mind; to save his daughter.

Realizing the staff had more important tasks to complete Michael placed the clip board on the desk and slowly walked back to the waiting room, his mind racing as he took a seat in the hard plastic chairs. His mind raced back in time, to a time when his heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces. He remembered the day Rosaline was born, he held the small baby in his arms. He held her tightly as he promised to protect the baby girl, who shared both his Grandmothers name and dark features. Images of a little girl in a pink dress taking her first steps to her Daddy, forced a small smile on his face. He heard the first time her soft voice whispered "Da-da", all over again.

As all sense of time seemed to disappear Michael sunk back into the hard plastic chair. His dark brown eyes closed as he prayed that this wouldn't be the night his memories of her ended.

Soft sounds of footsteps slowly moving towards the waiting room would force the father out of the please he was sending to the God he had absolute faith in. Hoping it was a nurse with an update he look up to a familiar pair of eyes, eyes that he had trusted many times since he had first became a parent.

"Jason?" His voice almost pleading to his old friend, and family doctor, "Are you here for Roz? Please, are you here to help her?" Michael fought to keep his composer, fought to keep the tears from spilling from his eyes.

Dr. Jason Hayward had lived in East Alleghany almost his entire life, save for the years he spent in college. He was a six years Michael's senior, but the two had long since become friends. When Dr. Hayward came home, after college, he had dreams of setting up a practice in his home town. He hadn't been expecting the resistance he had encountered when he first came home. If it hadn't been for Michael and Sandy Jareau trusting them when she became pregnant with David, he would never have built his practice. The Jareau family were more than just patients they were family, all three Jareau children were just as much his kids as his own four were, making this even more difficult for him.

Dr. Hayward sat next to his longtime friend, "No, Michael. Rosaline is going to need a specialist. She's going to need surgery to repair the damage she did to her wrist. Dr. Frizzel is the best trauma surgeon in the county, he'll take good care of her."

Michael looked up at his friend hopefully, "So….she'll be ok?" The sad look in the doctor's eyes was not what Michael wanted to see, "I don't know Michael. She lost a lot of blood, she's very weak. I can promise you though they will do everything they can."

There was a long pause as Michael processed his words, "Thank you." He finally whispered unable to hide the fear in his voice. Michael noticed the look in his friend's eyes, "There's something you're not telling me isn't there?"

Dr. Hayward nodded not wanting to give his friend more bad news, "It's about Jennifer…"

Sandy Jareau leaned back against the thinly covered gurney. When the EMT's had moved her daughter into the ambulance they leaned top of the gurney up and encouraged the mother to hold her daughter, hoping it would help the little girl who was obviously in shock. Jennifer leaned weakly back into her mother's chest as Sandy ran her fingers through her soft blonde hair.

Sandy had been surprised when her daughter hadn't fought the EMT's when they took her small thumb from her mouth and stuck her hand with a needle, starting an IV. Jennifer hated needles, she always fought the doctors and nurses when they tried to give her a shot. Sandy held back the tears as her baby lay there while they blonde girl lay there like nothing was happening, merely returning her thumb to her mouth when the EMT released it after taping the IV tube to her hand.

Jennifer hadn't moved or acknowledge another person's presence since her father ripped her away from her sister. She could hear her mother's pleas to say something but, her mind was trapped in a fog she couldn't seem to fight through.

She heard her mother's soft voice offering comforting words, but her mind couldn't process what she was saying. She could feel her mother's warm body next to hers but still felt so cold. She felt her breathing become easier when the EMT placed the plastic tubes in her nose but couldn't find the words to tell them what she was feeling. Her mind was trapped, trapped in a nightmare she couldn't seem to wake up from. Her mind kept replaying what she found in the bathroom. She saw the blood dripping from her sister's wrist. What was haunting her the most was the look in Rosaline's eyes, Jennifer knew what those eyes were saying and that was hurting her more than anything else.

The emergency room was full of life as the second ambulance pulled up to the bay. A page over the intercom forced Dr. Hayward to leave the concerned father. Dr. Hayward met the EMT's as they wheeled the mother and daughter down the long corridors, documenting everything he was told about the girls condition.

As the EMT's whisked the JJ down the hall Sandy's blue eyes met with Michael's concerned eyes, both parents sharing the same thought. They both wondered how much more life could throw at them so early in the morning.

Michael reached his hand out taking his daughters small hand into his own. He was surprised how cold her hand's felt. What scared him the most was the blank look in her eyes, it was as if she was looking right through him; like she didn't even know who he was.

Tick…tick…tick…tick the sounds of the clock above his head was a constant reminder of the time that kept ticking by without any news regarding his daughters. He paced back and forth across the waiting room knowing he should be taking this time to call his and Sandy's parents or to call David and the rest of the family. He was afraid though if he left for even a second he would miss something, that he wouldn't be there if his girls needed him.

"Dad?" David Jareau stood at the entrance of the waiting room watching his father, he had never seen the strong unbreakable man of his youth look so worried.

Father and son look at each other for just a moment before the younger man wrapped his arms around his father, like he was a boy again. Both men clung to one another, both needing each other's embrace.

"What happened?" David asked at the same time as Michael began, "How did you…?"

"Stacy Barr, from across the street called Sarah this morning wanting to know why there were police and ambulances at the house this morning. Why didn't anyone call? What happened Dad?" David didn't try to hide the fear in his voice. Since the phone at woken he and his wife up half an hour ago he and been terrified that he lost his entire family.

Michael led his son to the chairs sitting down again, motioning for his son to do the same. Michael told the young man everything that happened that morning.

Silence filled the room as David's mind processed everything. Rosaline tried to kill herself, his baby sister JJ had been the one to find her. Now both of his sisters were somewhere in this hospital and there was nothing he, as their big brother, could do for either of them.

"Say something son," Michael encouraged, not wanting his son to bottle up whatever it was that he was feeling right now.

"Rosaline cut her own wrist?" David asked softly wrapping his mind around the words as his father nodded his head. "WHAT THE HELL WHAT SHE THINKING!" David suddenly burst out, anger filling him. He stood up and paced across the floor he had found his father pacing just moments before.

"David!" Michael hadn't been prepared for his son's outburst. David had always been the calm one of the family.

"NO! WHAT THE HELL WAS ROZ THINKING DAD!" David was angry, "She tried to kill herself! What kind of selfish person does that? And JJ, she let JJ find her. Now our baby sister is sitting in the same hospital as Roz and we have no idea what the hell is wrong with her!"

David was having a hard time controlling the anger that was boiling up inside of him, he wanted to hit someone or something. He wanted to find Rosaline and tell her how mad he was at her. The images of his younger sister is what calmed him down, he thought of the soft brown eyes they shared. He remembered the years that it was just the two of them, how close they were, how close they still were. "How…Why…why would she do this Dad? Why would she think that this was the answer?" David almost sobbed as the anger turned to sadness.

"I don't know son…I don't….." Michael couldn't think of an answer to give his son, because there was no answer there was no reason he could think of to justify what Rosaline had done. Michael could only wrap his arms around his son and hold him close.

It was just after seven in the morning the clock continued to tick away, it had been just over an hour and a half since they had called 911 but it had felt like an entire day had passed. The two men felt utterly helpless as they waited for some sort of news, either good or bad. Life continued outside the hospital walls, but for the Jareau family life was frozen.

At 7:15 a nurse came to collect the two men, finally taking them to join Sandy and Jennifer. Both men felt guilty that they could only stand by waiting for news, they couldn't do anything to protect the girls they loved.

Dr. Hayward stood outside of JJ's room waiting for Michael Jareau, he wasn't surprised when he saw David walking slowly behind his father. "How are you doing David?" the doctor greeted his long time patient.

David could only nod his head and grunt, he didn't care for pleasantries right now, he needed to know what was going on with his baby sister, he needed good news right then or he felt like he was going to lose his battle with the anger that was building up again.

"How is JJ?" Michael asked ignoring his son's rudeness, knowing the young man was going through a lot, they all were, and it was understandable that he was hurt and angry.

Jason quickly scribbled a few additional notes on to the chart, knowing full well only another doctor or nurse could read the chicken scratch that he passed for writing. He handed the chart to the waiting nurse before turning back to the Jareau men. "As we expected JJ went into shock…"

Before the Doctor had a chance to explain further David took a step closer to the doctor, "What does that mean? Is she ok? What do you do for her?" David demanded answers from the doctor, ready and willing to protect the blonde girl on the other side of the door.

Jason put a hand up stopping the young man, he was used to dealing with upset family members, the waiting was the worst for family members, he could see the fear and anger on the young man's face. "Hold on David, I'm going to explain everything, then you can ask me anything you want." Jason waited patiently for David to slowly nod his head.

The doctor looked into the father and sons' deep brown eyes, wishing he could make this easier for them. "When a person experiences something traumatic, like JJ did today, it's not uncommon for someone to go into a state of shock. It can be as simple as feeling angry, or depressed, or withdrawing from others. In extreme cases a person can experience physical symptoms as well as emotional or physiological symptoms. In a child JJ's age the trauma tends to lead to more physical symptoms.

"JJ's, as you know, experience a major trauma today. Finding Rosaline the way she did would be difficult for an adult let alone a child. JJ's mind couldn't process what she was seeing or feeling. Her mind didn't know how to react. She couldn't scream or cry or express what she was feeling. Her mind, in an effort to protect her, in a way just shut down. This led to the symptoms we witnessed when she was brought in." The doctor went on to explain the symptoms JJ had presented with in terms that the men could understand.

"Now shock can be very serious, and if left untreated can be deadly." Dr. Hayward continued quickly when he noticed the look of sheer terror that over took his friend, "There's nothing to worry about with JJ though," he assured them, "We've given JJ a mild sedative, this is allowing her mind and body to rest. We've already gotten her blood pressure down to a manageable range, her breathing is normal, and she slowly responding to verbal cues."

"So, she's going to be ok?" Michael asked with a sigh of relief.

Jason nodded his head, "Physically yes. We're going to keep JJ here for 24 hours just to monitor her symptoms and make sure she doesn't experience anything else. What's important next is treating the cause of the shock. I've already called a friend of mine of the Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh. I'm going to recommend regardless of what happens with Rosaline you take JJ there to talk to her. It's not uncommon for children, and adults, to experience extreme emotions when something like this happens. It's important for JJ to have someone outside the home for her to talk to, to express what she is feeling in a safe environment." The doctor handed Michael a business card with the contact number for a Dr. Claire Ellison, leaving the two men to be reunited with their family.

The hospital bed seemed larger than usual with the petite eleven year old hidden beneath its blankets. JJ was sleeping peacefully under her mother's watchful eyes when Michael and David were finally allowed to go in.

David stood back watching as his father bent over his little sister, carefully kissing the top of her forehead. David could feel his anger growing again as he took in the scene in front of him. He felt helpless just standing back as his sister slept in the hospital bed attached to wires and tubes, all because their other sister acted so selfishly. David's eyes moved from his sleeping sister to the plastic bag on the counter behind his parents, he instantly recognized the pink pajamas, they were the same pair he and Sarah had given the eleven year old a few months ago for her birthday. Instantly the pink pajamas with soccer balls all over them had become the blonde's favorites, they were now stained with Rosaline's blood.

Feeling the soft pressure of her father's lips on her forehead the small blonde's blue eyes slowly opened, causing a sigh of relief in bother her father and big brother. "Daddy?" her voice sounded small.

"Yeah baby?" Michael held his daughters hand as he sat in the chair next to her mother.

"Where's Roz Daddy?" JJ's tear filled blue eyes met with her Daddy's almost begging him to stop the pain her heart was feeling.

Michael squeezed her hand, "She's with the doctor baby." He gave the easiest answer he could think of. "Roz is going to be ok, right Daddy?" Michael's heart constricted as she continued to push him, wanting her Daddy to make everything better again, just like he always did.

Michael turned away from her for a moment turning to his wife, her eyes had them same sadness as their daughters. In that moment Michael could feel the weight of the world on his shoulders as his family looked to him for reassurance. Looking from his wife to his anger fueled son standing by the door way his attention focused back on the child in the bed, "The doctors are doing everything they can JJ."

Half an hour later the Jareau's family doctor softly knocked on the hospital room door, without waiting for a response he slowly opened the door joining the small family. Behind Dr. Hayward, the surgeon who had been tasked with saving Rosaline's life, entered the room exhaustion written all over both their faces.

Jason's heart broke seeing the small family before him, David was sitting in the hospital bed with JJ snuggled up next to him, the young girls hand firmly wrapped around her mother's comforting outstretched hand. Michael sat next to his wife, his arm protectively wrapped around her shoulder. Four set of eyes looked at their friend and doctor as they finally received the news on their loved one.

The young nurse closed her eyes tightly as she heard the tortured scream that came from the child's room down the hall. The nurse had heard a scream like only once before, it was a scream that only came from a mother who had just lost their child.

_"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." Agatha Christie_


End file.
